wHy?

9th June 2006

Finally got it done. After all the things I been through,at last... I think I shall not try this anymore...it will really drive me crazy if all these were to happen again. Imagine I could lose 2kg in 2 days. How stress out I am? Well, perhaps it's a good way to put off a few pound....

Today, I received messages from him. I never thought that he would message me again...After he told me not to message him that day assuming I am busy. I thought we can't even be friends. But I never know things had been happening lately...Why can't I sense that it is not him at all to be so "cold" to me.

He told me that the medicine he was taking previously doesn't work on him anymore. That he had to start dialysis now. In another word, his kidney failed. Life hasn't been easy for him as he gotto go for dialysis every alternate day and yet he have to go to school. And he is going for a transplant soon. Although it's consider as a good news, but knowing that there's a 40% of failure risks and his body had very high tendency to reject the transplanted kidney, I can't help but felt so heavy.

I can't stop myself from crying for him.Even Ping is in front of me. But I just can't help. Although we are no more in a relationship but we have never mistreat each other. Broke up is purely because of muture understanding that we can't go on. That's why deep in side my heart, he is still someone special. Someone who see me as who I am from the day he know me. The most ironic part is he is having his operation on 18th June,his birthday.Why is all these happening to him?

Then when Me and Ping went to his juniors graduation exhibition. We met his professor who reminds me very much about Fwuji... All the memories between me and him just keep flashing in my head. I just wish his operation will be successful.