This is reality...

I am dying to talk to somebody. Is in a moment like this, I felt sad…

I am “force” to take responsibility into something that not fully my responsibility. Is sort of like the time when I am working with my boss and he sort of blame it to me when a customer complaint. I fear that this time it might be another just another time…but then is different. At least put into comparison, my boss is far better than this guy!

He was so stressed over the problem and he simply throw tantrum to customer and colleagues and I am just waiting…I know…don’t ask me why. When it comes to this human dark side of “dirty” thinking, I realized that I know exactly what he is up to. Is like watching a movie character, performing life show in front of you. Then slowly, I am just waiting…as he began to speak : “you know, I have to make a decision…” Cleaver act as he is telling me: Look, is my call! Not yours!. He said “we gotto come up with something that cover us!” Well, what he really meant was, cover him. “I am gonna tell boss about this, I am gonna said, I take in your word as what you reported and this happen and we are truly sorry.” Wow…see that? How cleaver is he? To have just put all the responsibility to me, and leave me the one who be blamed? I left no choice but to agreed. Well…actually I have a choice, if I need to do it, I will…But is not me to confront him. I have 7 days to face him and till this duty is done, I shall see…

Often I come to this point where I felt foolish of being upset over these things. But this dirty politic act is everywhere… You just got to live with it. I guess it make me a person who I am today.

One day if I leave this job, I don’t think I’ll miss anything here. This is because I know I will survive anywhere else. And I will be so sorry for the company to have this type of people kept and the nice type of people leave. Suddenly I understand why Velerie just left before a few months getting her 15K if she stays. It’s just so disgusted of staying on and endures these people where 15K can’t buy your dignity!

LaSt LaP..

What is done is done and it can't be undone...So, accept the fate and move on!!!

Yesterday's paper was tricky. Unusual questions and somehow felt that past days of effort is wasted. Haiz... But also there's a little voice deep inside my heart tell me that I could have done better, if only...ha!

Well, let the past be the past and I shall concentrate on tomorrow's paper. After which I will enjoy my break!!! Like what Jessey said, I deserved it! =P

Last lap..till I am done with the course, there's always another lap to go!!!

P/S: My friends out there...I'll be back in KL from 2nd -4th of June. Shall meet up with ya soon! Do make reservation in advance k? haha...

I am so proud of you!!!

My little brother Wen Jiun was choosen as one of the winners of HP notebook's skin design competition. Only 9 were selected in Malaysia. This is the first time in his life that he ever won something. He is never a academic kind of person. But had always show his passion for art and designing. I am so proud of him as I see him work so hard and this definately is a confidence booster to him.

As for me...tired is the overall description of my physical condition. Really run out of time on revision for my last two papers. Yet there are too much to study. How I wish I could study non-stop without feeling tired. Time is running out, I know. I just wanna cover as much as I can. Definately gonna spot question for IBM. No no for anyone facing an important exam like this. But I have no choice but to do so. As for PBF, shall score in my section B, the calculation. Oh God, wish I can have a super brain that remember everything I read. Didn't they said, woman have better memory than guy? Why didn't it apply here?

Give me more time pls!!!!

没有你的日子。。。

没有你的日子
其实也没什么不一样

一样的生活
呼吸着一样的空气

仍然为同样的问题困扰
仍然没有答案

然后我想
这表示着什么吗

见面的时候我依然开心
可不见面思念的感觉渐渐麻痹
已经学会不在乎了
已经开始习惯了

接下来的日子没有你
我会好好的
三年来的独自生活
我和寂寞相处地很好
虽然偶尔牵挂
但还是会习惯

做一个快乐的大近视

和朋友谈起这个话题是因为她在自己的户口表示：
有谁可以在乎我？我需要一点爱来坚持下去。。。

A: 我来爱你！ 要坚持哦！
L；谢谢你！我很需要被人爱。。。
A：其实有没有想过为什么人需要爱？是需要，还是寂寞？
L；我也不知道，只是一种感觉，想要被爱。。。
A：我想原因很可能是人希望被需要，其实我们都是寂寞的动物。
L：希望被需要＝渴望被爱。应该不是寂寞。。。因为人生很精彩，每一天都过得很充实。
A：可是你知道吗？尽管我现在一边工作，一边读书，我还是很寂寞。
L：我的是有点“空空”的感觉。
A：笨蛋！那不是寂寞，是什么？
L：不是寂寞，寂寞太夸张了。寂寞不等于空虚。寂寞太可悲了。
A：或许我的感觉和你不一样吧？我觉得是寂寞，你却认为是空虚。寂寞不可悲，因为人本来就
要面对寂寞。空虚对我来说是不知道自己要什么，很可怕。我害怕寂寞，更怕空虚。
L：或许就象你说的，我根本不知道自己要的是什么。无论是爱情还是未来，能看到的都很模糊
。让人很没有安全感。
A：我明白，因为就算我现在有份工作，也在读书。未来会是怎样，我还是不懂。我想没有人能
很肯定自己的未来吧？不过我的朋友对我说：YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK！我想只
能这样吧？因为不知道自己要的是什么，所以只能做眼前的事。就当自己是个大近视，没有
眼镜，没办法！就只好小心翼翼地看着眼前的东西，慢慢地走。至少眼前还是清晰的，太远
的就别看别想！

I know...

When do you know a guy is truly in love with you?
When he sees you, his eyes lights up...

When do you know he could be the one?
When he sees you bare face and still thinks you are the prettiest...

When do you know he will not leave you no matter what?
When you make him upset yet he blame himself but not you...

When do you know...
Well, I just know...

Tomorrow will be the day. God...wonder if I could do it. Dear dear said try my best and I shall be okay... Well, easy for him to say COZ HE IS NOT THE ONE TAKING THE EXAM!!!!

Okay...instead of wasting time here, I shall go back to my revision. Haiz....

A Taste of Home...

You know when you have nice collegues? When they are more like family than workmates? It heart warming...

A taste of home....

We are family.
From the left: Tham, Edwin, me and Charmaine

eAt OuT!!!

Eat out today. Went to the NewYork NewYork in CityHall Link and had a great meal. Espeacially the crunchy mushroom that we had!!! Was amazed how such a simple food been so delicious. Yum Yum....

After a delightful meal. We went on to have out dessert at Novena. Saw channel 5 introducing this hong kong cafe and tempted to give it a try. Well, bad move!

The dessert which is our favourite whenever Ping and I visited HK is rather so so...Not up to the standard that we expected. The worst thing is the French Toast. Claimed to be both the chef's and local TV recommendation, it is rather horrible. I had one bite and both of us look at each other...YUCKS!!! Never a french toast that bad! Suppecting that it was the oil they used, we decided to leave.

Well, lesson learned. Never believe 100% on what the TV says. As for the TV hosts, you guys must speak your heart...It's called "social responsibility" kay?

Be alone....

4:55 a.m.
No one awake but me...
Since coming back, I was looking forward to meet Ping and yet I didn't really lay my eyes on him yesterday when he came over.I guess I am just too tired of waiting...

Somehow when he left, I felt awake again and feeling sad, I had my yogurt to comfort me...*Sob sob*

Sometimes I just wish he could be more sensitive. But he is often the time careless... I know, after all, that's difference between guys and gals... It just sometime make me tired and depressed.

Expecting a msg from him when he got home. Yet, my phone remain silent.

Called home yesterday. Feels good talking to mum, the one who is always there for me.

Might be the exam blues that's killing me right now. But I shall slow everything down...need some time for myself...

BeSt wAy tO LoSt WeIgHt....

Over the past 5 days, I have discovered the best way to lose weight is...

1) Missing somebody badly
2) When somebody getting on your nerve
3) You are eating yet you are not
4) Working too hard

Just hope this weight losing is not an unhealthy sign of my body...hitting the new record...

我就是在炫耀！

对啦！对啦！ 我就是在炫耀！

每次出国他都会带回点东西回来。虽然不是什么贵重（有时是很贵啦！〕的东西。但是，每次都很贴心哦！

最近忙着准备考试，心理和身体都有点受不了。各种问题让我有点喘不过气来，于是我也比平时爱撒娇。（他可能也觉得：宝贝，最近也太会撒娇了吧？〕可是，他应该还满喜欢的吧？＝P

心理年龄任性地变成3岁；身体却是无可奈何的40岁。。。累。对于我这样的转变，他一贯地用“不变因百变”来应付，哈哈！可搞不好他其实也没发觉。。。所以结论是他可能是“处机不变”，不然就是“迟钝过人”！ 哈！

1/2

Ms. X: What is this?

A: Half of a heart.

Ms.X: Where's the other half?

A: With my boy friend....=P

Priceless...

I felt like a princess...all because of Ping.
The way he treated me...the way he take care of me...I know he really treasure me.

Sometimes when you are too close, we tend overlook each other's feeling...
When we treat each other as part of ourself, we tend to neglect each other's need...

Is in moment like this, you need remember...
It's he/she that you should treasure.
It's he/she that treat you as he/she always do...
It's he/she that 's real ....
It's he/she tat's matter...

A: Can you buy me?
P: How? I can't afford?
A: Don't want ar?
P: Coz...you are priceless.
A: ............

When you have too much negative things in life, let's focus on the positive ones...

The first time I saw these pictures, I got this strange feeling in me...I was so moved by these pictures that doesn't speak...How about you?

珍惜眼前。。。

我想珍惜的，总是从我身边溜走。。。童年。。。时间。。。

Egg-less Honey Brownies

喜欢一个人，会希望为他做点什么吧？就算是很小很小的一件事。。。

Ping's dad is a vegetarian. He had a sweet tooth for dessert, especially brownies. Because of his health condition, he can't take anything with cholesterol. In another word, he can't take any dessert with eggs. So, I thought...maybe I could make something without egg...

The first time I did, I followed a egg-less brownies recipe that I found online. Well, it's okay...but not as tasty though...So, this time, I did it my way! Ha...

If you have someone you care that can't take anything with cholesterol, you might like to try this...but let me warn you...it might not turn out as you want coz this is written down as how I remember it.

Egg-less Honey Brownies

1/2 cup of margarine

1 tsp of vanilla essence

1/2 cup of flour

1 small pinch of salt

honey

1 tbs of baking powder

1 tbs of canola oil (vegetable oil)

1 tbs of warm water

2 tbs of cocoa powder

leftover chocolate bar in the fridge (good chance to clear your fridge)

walnuts

First of all, melt the chocolate bar in a bowl. Put the bowl inside a pot filled with 1/3 of water. (reason: so that the chocolate would not burn easily)

Then mix the margarine with honey and cocoa powder. How much honey to put is depend on yourself. I tasted the mixture to see if I need to add more. Beat it with a electrical mixer.

Subsequently mix in others ingredients including the melted chocolate( except for the walnuts).

Beat it with the electrical mixer.

When all the ingredient is well mixed, add the walnuts and this time just mix it with a big spoon. At last, put the mixture into a mould and bake it in a oven which had been preheated about 10 minutes at 180 degree Celsius. Baked for 25-35 minutes.

When the surface of the brownies look shiny and the edge is slightly burned. You can poked a tooth pit into it, if the tooth pit is not sticky when you pull out, it's done. If not, you can lower the heat to 160 degree Celsius and monitor.

The brownies I baked this time turn out good. I guess sometimes you just can't follow the books...A little of your creativity add a little flavour to your baking. YUMMY!!!!

曾经太年轻。。。

说着往事
我和他似乎都更能坦然相对
那段过去
不再那么不堪

彼此感谢过去
对方给予的真心
更感谢现在
依然是朋友的包容

他说一直很庆幸认识我
而我因为这份庆幸
似乎感染了他的幸福

曾经不愿面对的过去
此刻是两人珍贵的回忆
至少我们没有失去彼此

他说听这首歌
他想起了我

窗外风铃一直不安静
风在摇晃不安的宿命
我聆听
你回忆经过的声音

开始旅行寂寞很清醒
我在靠近过去的边境
有些
恋人只是
路过的风景

曾经太过年轻却绝对真心
我给的爱始终任性
不懂花开只是一次的爱情

曾经太过年轻
泪纯真透明
你的坚定
我仍然还
相信

直到如今你说爱的那封信
我一直都收藏着
折叠用心
让誓言干净

曾经太过年轻
在人海飘零
那些关于我的事情
总有你紧紧跟随的身影

曾经太过年轻
泪纯真透明
你的坚定
我仍然还
相信

心情的颜色。。。

最近很忙。。。
忙得有点害怕
忙得有点精神紧张
忙得变得很容易哭泣
幸好有你

曾经看过一本书
说的是每个人都有一种“气”
那是一个人与生俱来的
要是用颜色区分的话
我的是橙黄色
你的一定是海蓝色

我总是急躁地事事要求完美
象火焰 时而大时而小
情绪化
而你却总是不缓不急很有分寸
象云朵 懒懒地
很温柔

于是我们在一起就会有种奇怪的化学作用
心情和周围的气氛就很不一样
青青地 轻轻地
象树林 象草原
很舒服

你觉得呢。。。

希望。。。

前几天
一个人看了“生日快乐”
戏院里 人很少
可只有我是一个人。。。

讨厌等待
不喜欢
“知道你会来 却又不知道几时 ”的这种感觉
于是决定一个人看电影
在等待你的同时
好像这样
等待的寂寞就会少一点点

好好看的一部电影
节奏有点幔
却不会沉闷
让你有反思的空间
最后还是哭了
只是没办法尽情地哭。。。

看完电影
打电话给你
你刚出门
难过
因为就算知道我看完电影的时间
你仍然没有早到

一时间
那因为电影而暂时忘却的寂寞情绪
排山倒海地涌了上来
好难过

“你不要来了！”我说
其实很希望你来

“我很累！”
其实还有失望难过

“就算来了又怎样？都那么夜了。。。”
其实多夜也好，只想见见你

生气
我还是帮你买了晚餐
仿佛生气你 和你饿不饿是不相干的事
为什么生气也不能很彻底
我真白痴

结果晚上我哭得稀里哗啦地
其实不过给自己一个哭泣的借口
其是也不过是小事一桩

只是希望你多想想我
只是希望多见见你
只是希望你把我放在第一位
只是希望。。。