29th June 2006
Just a few hour after blogging my 1st blog of the day. I felt better. Ha! Women! Anyway, perhaps is the cold shower that helps. Or maybe my problem is that no one could share with me. After talking to my mum, I instantly felt better. Well...though my mum could only understand 30% of how I felt.Anyway,it's good!
So I am back to 70% of the cheerful self. Another 30%,perhaps after eating my mum's dumpling:) Well, maybe this is one good point of me. I could recover from the upset emotion quite fast.
After crapping so much, I havent touch on what I wanted to say actually. Well, is some funny idea tha occur to me that day after hearing someone's conversation. Ok...is "over-heard somebody's conversation".
What happen is that I was in the Q of the fruit stall in the canteen when this girl in front of me share her idea of saving with her friend. She said she never use her SGD 2 note and will always keep it when she have. So, unconciously she have save up till SGD 15,000 now. Of course the time frame is something to be concern here. If she use 10 years to do so, it's not really something to be surprise of. So, i decided to do a experiment myself. See how long it takes me to save that SGD 15,000 effortlessly. Keyword here is "effortlessly". This is because I always felt if could have a habit of saving money, that doesn't make you felt it's a chore of something, the money won't hurt you a bit. But if you force yourself to save when you already have so many commitment, it's gonna be very difficult. So, I start to keep my SGD 2 note now,and we shall see...
Thursday, June 29, 2006
HoMe SwEEt HoMe...
29th June 2006
Back in KL. Is good to see my family after so long.On my way home, I was still puzzled by my own emotion and feelings. What exactly that I am not happy about? It all started since Monday.
After class, I went to meet Ping in town. Perhaps both of us are tired, and shouldn't have come out. So, it wasn't really a good hang out time. Reason that we wanted to meet up is because we won't be seeing each other for the next 7 days.
Then Tuesday, during lunch break, I called Ping and he was on his way to work. I could felt he wasnt in the mood of talking partly because he is in a bus with faulty air-con...Well, so we hang up quickly. That day after class, I suppose to go for my facial appointment. I went and because I wasnt feeling very happy, I went to Kinokuniya and got a few books for myself. Hopefuly it would cheer me up. I also called Sherly out as I don't feel like going home though I am actually quite tired.
So, I have dinner with Sherly and after which I join she and her friend in pub near city hall called "waiting bar". We were there till midnight, nothing much, chit-chat,catching up with the lost time. Then I felt better...or I think I felt better...Sherly share with me about her r/s and I knew I couldn't be worse. Yet it's not to be compare, after all we are dating different guys and we have different needs.
I got message from Derrick, happily telling me he won't be away. He've decided to find a job in S'pore. So, he could celebrate my birthday with me. Then it occur to me that Ping won't be around for my birthday. It's not really a big day for me as I never celebrated birthday. But today, I wish the one who say that to me is Ping...I knew Derrick have something for me, though many time I told him I can't return his kindness. But he just don't care. And he just beg me to allow him to treat me nicely. I can't say I am not touched by these...After all, I am thankful that I met these nice people...Just that there's nothing much I could do. I told myself, if this guy is so kind to you, be kind to him too.
Anyway, by the time I am home, it's almost 2am. I showered and packed coz I am going home the next day morning.And to my surprise, Ping message me. I could have call him but I didn't instead I told him that I am going to sleep. The truth is I never sleep till around 4am. Maybe I just don't feel like talking right now. Jess ask if I decided to cof. But I told her, I need to consider. Maybe it's not a good idea of spending too much time togather. Maybe is time to let each other have a breathing space...
Back in KL. Is good to see my family after so long.On my way home, I was still puzzled by my own emotion and feelings. What exactly that I am not happy about? It all started since Monday.
After class, I went to meet Ping in town. Perhaps both of us are tired, and shouldn't have come out. So, it wasn't really a good hang out time. Reason that we wanted to meet up is because we won't be seeing each other for the next 7 days.
Then Tuesday, during lunch break, I called Ping and he was on his way to work. I could felt he wasnt in the mood of talking partly because he is in a bus with faulty air-con...Well, so we hang up quickly. That day after class, I suppose to go for my facial appointment. I went and because I wasnt feeling very happy, I went to Kinokuniya and got a few books for myself. Hopefuly it would cheer me up. I also called Sherly out as I don't feel like going home though I am actually quite tired.
So, I have dinner with Sherly and after which I join she and her friend in pub near city hall called "waiting bar". We were there till midnight, nothing much, chit-chat,catching up with the lost time. Then I felt better...or I think I felt better...Sherly share with me about her r/s and I knew I couldn't be worse. Yet it's not to be compare, after all we are dating different guys and we have different needs.
I got message from Derrick, happily telling me he won't be away. He've decided to find a job in S'pore. So, he could celebrate my birthday with me. Then it occur to me that Ping won't be around for my birthday. It's not really a big day for me as I never celebrated birthday. But today, I wish the one who say that to me is Ping...I knew Derrick have something for me, though many time I told him I can't return his kindness. But he just don't care. And he just beg me to allow him to treat me nicely. I can't say I am not touched by these...After all, I am thankful that I met these nice people...Just that there's nothing much I could do. I told myself, if this guy is so kind to you, be kind to him too.
Anyway, by the time I am home, it's almost 2am. I showered and packed coz I am going home the next day morning.And to my surprise, Ping message me. I could have call him but I didn't instead I told him that I am going to sleep. The truth is I never sleep till around 4am. Maybe I just don't feel like talking right now. Jess ask if I decided to cof. But I told her, I need to consider. Maybe it's not a good idea of spending too much time togather. Maybe is time to let each other have a breathing space...
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
aWakE....
28th June 2006
It's 2.11am now and I am still up packing my things. Going back to KL tomorrow...Can't wait...
It's 2.11am now and I am still up packing my things. Going back to KL tomorrow...Can't wait...
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
tWo YeArS aNNiVerSaRy!
19th June 2006
It's girl's nightout! After don't know how long, 8 of us finally came out all togather! We meet up at hard rock for dinner. Somehow we attract alot of attention from the others. Of course, how often you get 8 pretty girls hanging out togather? haha...So when the waitress out of curiosity came and ask if this is a special night for us, we told them it's somebody's birthday, and 3 of us(Annie, Jennifer and Michiko) got set up to be the birthday girls.hahaha....Great! So in the end of the dinner, the VJ was announcing it through the PA while everyone is watching football... Luckily we didn't get scolded by others yet we enjoyed a "high + out of pitch" birthday song from everyone. Of course not to forget the 3 free ice cream sundae we got!!!YUMMY!!!
After the dinner is not the end yet. We went on for 2nd round and have a drink at the loof. It's a cozy hangout place on the roof top of a building opposite the chimes. Not noisy and with the breeze of the night, it's a nice place to talk...The night goes on till past mid-night and for the first time, Annie is the one who claimed that she is tired. (it's normally me!!!haha!!!)
Great night! Cheers for our two years anniversary!!!
LeT mE cRy!!!
13th-15th June 2006
Spending total 8 days with my dear is a total bonus for me. We are consider as long distance relationship in a way...haha...Both of us are always apart yet felt so near. Time for us has a total different defination. For us, months passes like weeks, days is just hours...That's why although it has been almost 9 months now,I still feel very much like yesterday. I wish, our honeymoon period is forever.
Something happen in this trip. I was angry with Ping. Real angry,that I couldn't talk to him. He hurt himself, and despite worrying bout him, I still can't lay my sight on him. I am really angry. People around us was concern of his injury...and I just stand a side, pull my ear to listen, but wouldn't talk to him. I am worry, but in the same time I am angry. Or perhaps, I am sad. Not so much of anger? I thought: Why do you have to shout at me? Why can't you just say instead of shouting? Ping knew that I am angry,obviously...He tried to get responses from me. I refused to share a room with him but he insist. How could I stay in a room with you when I am so angry? Then when we were in the room, seeing how much pain he suffer of his injury, my heart soften. Silly Ping, clumsy Ping and my heart hurts.
Ping went out with me despite haven't been sleeping for the past 24 hours. I am tired too. But I think staying in the room doesnt serve us good. I need a breath. We hold hands and went out like nothing happen. Got our tax refund and dinner back. Then, after meal I went to sleep...I didn't knocked out. In fact I know Ping didn't stay awake for long unlike what he always do after a flight.
In the middle of the night, I woke up and couldn't put myself into sleep. Tired but I am still...feeling uneasy inside. I try to make myself occupied while Ping is sleeping. First time we slept seperately in the same room. Then when Ping finally woke up.He came over my bed, wanted to hug me. And I just couldn't hold my tear no more and started crying. I rarely cry infront of people. As I always try not to worry others, I don't easily cry in front of people. Only my 2nd brother knew that despite my cheerful and easy going attitude, I am actually a big crying baby. So tonight, I have a good cry... And I knew after this cry, I shall be alright. So, dear, let me cry...
Ping totally freak out. He don't know what to say but just hug me tight. And that's exactly what I need.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
wHy?
9th June 2006
Finally got it done. After all the things I been through,at last... I think I shall not try this anymore...it will really drive me crazy if all these were to happen again. Imagine I could lose 2kg in 2 days. How stress out I am? Well, perhaps it's a good way to put off a few pound....
Today, I received messages from him. I never thought that he would message me again...After he told me not to message him that day assuming I am busy. I thought we can't even be friends. But I never know things had been happening lately...Why can't I sense that it is not him at all to be so "cold" to me.
He told me that the medicine he was taking previously doesn't work on him anymore. That he had to start dialysis now. In another word, his kidney failed. Life hasn't been easy for him as he gotto go for dialysis every alternate day and yet he have to go to school. And he is going for a transplant soon. Although it's consider as a good news, but knowing that there's a 40% of failure risks and his body had very high tendency to reject the transplanted kidney, I can't help but felt so heavy.
I can't stop myself from crying for him.Even Ping is in front of me. But I just can't help. Although we are no more in a relationship but we have never mistreat each other. Broke up is purely because of muture understanding that we can't go on. That's why deep in side my heart, he is still someone special. Someone who see me as who I am from the day he know me. The most ironic part is he is having his operation on 18th June,his birthday.Why is all these happening to him?
Then when Me and Ping went to his juniors graduation exhibition. We met his professor who reminds me very much about Fwuji... All the memories between me and him just keep flashing in my head. I just wish his operation will be successful.
Finally got it done. After all the things I been through,at last... I think I shall not try this anymore...it will really drive me crazy if all these were to happen again. Imagine I could lose 2kg in 2 days. How stress out I am? Well, perhaps it's a good way to put off a few pound....
Today, I received messages from him. I never thought that he would message me again...After he told me not to message him that day assuming I am busy. I thought we can't even be friends. But I never know things had been happening lately...Why can't I sense that it is not him at all to be so "cold" to me.
He told me that the medicine he was taking previously doesn't work on him anymore. That he had to start dialysis now. In another word, his kidney failed. Life hasn't been easy for him as he gotto go for dialysis every alternate day and yet he have to go to school. And he is going for a transplant soon. Although it's consider as a good news, but knowing that there's a 40% of failure risks and his body had very high tendency to reject the transplanted kidney, I can't help but felt so heavy.
I can't stop myself from crying for him.Even Ping is in front of me. But I just can't help. Although we are no more in a relationship but we have never mistreat each other. Broke up is purely because of muture understanding that we can't go on. That's why deep in side my heart, he is still someone special. Someone who see me as who I am from the day he know me. The most ironic part is he is having his operation on 18th June,his birthday.Why is all these happening to him?
Then when Me and Ping went to his juniors graduation exhibition. We met his professor who reminds me very much about Fwuji... All the memories between me and him just keep flashing in my head. I just wish his operation will be successful.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
From a different angles, is a whole new world
08th June 2005
Let's forget about the unhappy things,shall show off the things that my dear gave it to me. It's definately some sort of surprise.
First of all, I never expect he will do this to me. Maybe in my mind he have form the image of buying food and drystore for me oversea.HAHA...
So when he said he got something to gave me. It never occur to me that it's all these.
So, here I have a very nice diamond neclace and a very stylish ipod nano plus a cute tiny travelling speaker which I now bring to most of my flights. Perhaps could bring it to seoul frisco too...Well, life wouldn't be bad if you look things in different angles.At least I can go sight seeing in seoul, and also meeting my dear aft my flight. Not so bad!!!
Learn to let go...
08th June 2006
I have long learned that life is not going to smooth all the way. But I am always gladful that things that had happen to me,being bad or good, it makes me grow. Just like these two days, I have been so desperate nearly go crazy.
Faith said: in the end of the day you gotto ask yourself, is it worth it? And I think...despite being angry with his "bo-chap" attitude, I am actually quite willingly to do this. Worth it? I don't know. But if there's a choice when I can do it again, I will still go through all these troubles. He never will know how much I wanna spend time with him...I guess is time to readjust myself...some things have to be left behind...some things isn't as important as you think it is...
But I am gladful, that I have Jess with me. Someone that I could count on. Never will I feel weak in front of her, coz there's always some kind of moral support in between us.
I felt I am feeling of something...This always happen to me. I always feel something but can't really put in down to word. Is interesting as I see myself reacting towards things that happen to us. I am just afraid that history would repeat just like my previous relationship. But whatever it is, I am gladful right now...
I have long learned that life is not going to smooth all the way. But I am always gladful that things that had happen to me,being bad or good, it makes me grow. Just like these two days, I have been so desperate nearly go crazy.
Faith said: in the end of the day you gotto ask yourself, is it worth it? And I think...despite being angry with his "bo-chap" attitude, I am actually quite willingly to do this. Worth it? I don't know. But if there's a choice when I can do it again, I will still go through all these troubles. He never will know how much I wanna spend time with him...I guess is time to readjust myself...some things have to be left behind...some things isn't as important as you think it is...
But I am gladful, that I have Jess with me. Someone that I could count on. Never will I feel weak in front of her, coz there's always some kind of moral support in between us.
I felt I am feeling of something...This always happen to me. I always feel something but can't really put in down to word. Is interesting as I see myself reacting towards things that happen to us. I am just afraid that history would repeat just like my previous relationship. But whatever it is, I am gladful right now...
Saturday, May 27, 2006
oVeRcOme . pOSeiDoN . sUrViVing . fOuNd
27th May 2006
OVERCOME
Wake up as early as 0645 hrs despite having only slept for 4 hours. Feeling shitty just like yesterday. I need to talk. So I called home. Finally talking to my dad and get the whole thing clearly understand. I felt better after that. Though it make no changes to anything. But at least, I felt whole lots better. I guess I hate it when things lost control and I learned, if you do not want anything to lost its control, take control!!!
POSEIDON
Went for a movie with Derrick and his friend(forgot his name, i think is Gary) haha...Anyway, we watch the movie name Poseidon. At first I didn't have the mood to come out at all.But I guess when you are feeling down and you wanna turn it around. You can't just sit there and wait for something good to happen. So I decided to go out and who knows? something nice might happen.
The movie is quite nice. Turn out to be quite a breath taking and tight with story line's movie. However, something was missing...but I just don't know what is it.
SURVIVING
It has been a whole day now and I am still surviving. In fact with the help of Derrick, I got something for myself. Then I decide, if ever any unhappy incident occur, I will buy myself a gift. I also buy Ping a gift, as I felt strongly to give him one. Though none of our birthday is near but I guess giving never need a reason. I guess this little trick do worked. I am feeling happy now.
FOUND
I am back to my old self. The girl who go so emotional and angry have gone and I am back to my old self. I am just so glad that Ping stays with me that night where things happend and I felt so lost. I know he is tired but the fact that he stay gave me strength to be strong.
OVERCOME
Wake up as early as 0645 hrs despite having only slept for 4 hours. Feeling shitty just like yesterday. I need to talk. So I called home. Finally talking to my dad and get the whole thing clearly understand. I felt better after that. Though it make no changes to anything. But at least, I felt whole lots better. I guess I hate it when things lost control and I learned, if you do not want anything to lost its control, take control!!!
POSEIDON
Went for a movie with Derrick and his friend(forgot his name, i think is Gary) haha...Anyway, we watch the movie name Poseidon. At first I didn't have the mood to come out at all.But I guess when you are feeling down and you wanna turn it around. You can't just sit there and wait for something good to happen. So I decided to go out and who knows? something nice might happen.
The movie is quite nice. Turn out to be quite a breath taking and tight with story line's movie. However, something was missing...but I just don't know what is it.
SURVIVING
It has been a whole day now and I am still surviving. In fact with the help of Derrick, I got something for myself. Then I decide, if ever any unhappy incident occur, I will buy myself a gift. I also buy Ping a gift, as I felt strongly to give him one. Though none of our birthday is near but I guess giving never need a reason. I guess this little trick do worked. I am feeling happy now.
FOUND
I am back to my old self. The girl who go so emotional and angry have gone and I am back to my old self. I am just so glad that Ping stays with me that night where things happend and I felt so lost. I know he is tired but the fact that he stay gave me strength to be strong.
eVeRyThiNg gOiNg tO bE FiNe....i WiSh...
I try to convinced myself that everything is going to be fine.
Yet deep inside I just so afraid that things don't turn out well.
I am so dissapointed with people around me.
Yet it's not them I should blame.
I feel like crying...
wanting someone to hold me tight...
feel like shouting...
hoping someone to shout with me...
feel like sleeping...
coz i am tired both physical and mentally...
I don't think anyone understand what I am talking about...
I think I am not myself at all tonight...
Hope tomorrow it's a brand new day...
I just wish....
I don't think anyone understand what I am talking about...
I think I am not myself at all tonight...
Hope tomorrow it's a brand new day...
I just wish....
Sunday, May 21, 2006
gReeTiNg FrOm bRiSbAnE...
21st May 2006
Yesterday I was working on my personal time table, listing down things that I should do...It's hard coz I have so much to do yet so little time. Less time to spent with my dear but I know he will understand.
Well, yesterday night as Ping and I were sms'ing each other. I told Ping about my plan and the anxienty I am facing because of things that I need to do. And he said he will always stand by me and give me surport...very sweet of him. Then I told Ping that the fact that he is so surportive meant alot to me. And later I got this message from him saying that he would go for breakfast tomorrow...bla bla bla...totally irrelevant. Is funny...for a second I thought he sms to a wrong person. Then later I figure out. He don't know how to respone to my message.Ha! Well, not the first time.
I always understand Ping as a very conservative guy who take in alot of consideration before doing something. He won't commit to any promise or even sweet talk about our future. I guess he feels that it's too early to say and the fact that I am still young and he is not ready, make him hold back. Well, perhaps that time when he ask me to become his gf is probably the bravest thing he have done to a girl...without giving much of thought...I guess when he look back he probably am surprise himself. Hope he never have regretted of his decision=P
I am not to complaint coz I know there are things that is far more precious to be appreciate. And I am always gladful to have him.
Yesterday I was working on my personal time table, listing down things that I should do...It's hard coz I have so much to do yet so little time. Less time to spent with my dear but I know he will understand.
Well, yesterday night as Ping and I were sms'ing each other. I told Ping about my plan and the anxienty I am facing because of things that I need to do. And he said he will always stand by me and give me surport...very sweet of him. Then I told Ping that the fact that he is so surportive meant alot to me. And later I got this message from him saying that he would go for breakfast tomorrow...bla bla bla...totally irrelevant. Is funny...for a second I thought he sms to a wrong person. Then later I figure out. He don't know how to respone to my message.Ha! Well, not the first time.
I always understand Ping as a very conservative guy who take in alot of consideration before doing something. He won't commit to any promise or even sweet talk about our future. I guess he feels that it's too early to say and the fact that I am still young and he is not ready, make him hold back. Well, perhaps that time when he ask me to become his gf is probably the bravest thing he have done to a girl...without giving much of thought...I guess when he look back he probably am surprise himself. Hope he never have regretted of his decision=P
I am not to complaint coz I know there are things that is far more precious to be appreciate. And I am always gladful to have him.
Friday, May 19, 2006
CuLiNaRy DaY...YuMMy!!!
19th May 2006
Got back from my dear's place. Like what he said, today is a bonus to both of us coz we get to spent more time togather. I think both of us are trying and putting effort to spend more time with each other as both our roster clashed. Really happy to see things really going well between two of us. It's has been almost 8 months now...
Anyway, that day while meeting up at City Hall, Ping came up with this idea of cooking togather. So we went to MPH look for some cookery book especially those that is dedicated for vegetarian. People has always been wondering how we cope with each other as I am not a vegetarian like Ping. But it never has been a problem to both of us coz we just eat what we want. Neither of us wanna to change each other. Why should we?Anyway, Ping is a easy eater. Basically, he is more of a "carbohidratian" than a vegetarian. haha...
Well, so we have make yesterday our culinary day. I wake up very early despite sleeping late the night before.and went to the market to get all the ingredients. I have decided to cook a whole vegetarian meal for Ping. I figure it would be nice that he can eat whatever I cook. So,this is the menu I came up with.
STARTER
Jiun's Style Lotus Root and Sweet Potato Tempura(Without Tempura Dip)
It's called Jiun's Style because basically it's a a unqualified tempura.haha...
SOUP OF THE DAY
2nd Attempt's Lotus Root and Peanut Soup
My 2nd time cooking this soup...nice!
MAIN COURSE
A Little Burned Curry Lamb
It's not really curry and in process of being a rendang...
"Simply " Stir Fried Shitake and Egg Tofu
Coz it's really a creation of my creativity=P
The Mysterious Aparagus
Mysterious becoz this dish is taken care of by my dear...have no idea how he cooked it.
DESSERT
Self Claimed The Best Home Made Konyakku Jelly
I think it's really one of the best..Don't play play!
DRINK
Sour Plum or Water Chestnut(Sponsored by Doreen)
Doreen is Ping's Mum...ha!
So, that's my menu. It turn out to be quite alright despite my official first time cooking. Ping said is delicious...well...maybe he is too kind to hurt my heart. Well, I am happy to cook for him, and glad that he finish almost everything. Till our next culinary day comes, I better make sure two of us shed away the pounds that we put on today....Sinful!
Monday, May 01, 2006
BcK 2 rEaLiTy...
1st May 2006
I am very tired...both physically and mentally. Just got back from KL after a long weekend. I miss my family.It has been quite a while since I last went home. It's great to be at home,to be pamper and to be care like a princess.
Yet when I come back to S'pore.Is back to reality. There are so many things to settle and somehow I felt I am really out of time and energy. I need someone to hold me tight and reassure that I am doing fine. But it's not me to be defeated. I can't bare to be defeated. That's what make me continue.
Got mail from SIM saying that I've been offer a place.Then the next thing is I gotto pay my tuition fee,$4200 per year,one shot...Though I have long prepare to pay this big sum of money yet it's still scare me hell out that I am actually paying it. I guess I never had to pay such a big bill in my life before. Somehow, it put me to think about how am I gonna cope? Am I mentally ready for all these? God, I am scared...real scared...
I am very tired...both physically and mentally. Just got back from KL after a long weekend. I miss my family.It has been quite a while since I last went home. It's great to be at home,to be pamper and to be care like a princess.
Yet when I come back to S'pore.Is back to reality. There are so many things to settle and somehow I felt I am really out of time and energy. I need someone to hold me tight and reassure that I am doing fine. But it's not me to be defeated. I can't bare to be defeated. That's what make me continue.
Got mail from SIM saying that I've been offer a place.Then the next thing is I gotto pay my tuition fee,$4200 per year,one shot...Though I have long prepare to pay this big sum of money yet it's still scare me hell out that I am actually paying it. I guess I never had to pay such a big bill in my life before. Somehow, it put me to think about how am I gonna cope? Am I mentally ready for all these? God, I am scared...real scared...
Sunday, April 30, 2006
SiCk...
30th April 2006
Is scary.When I told my mum I fainted.I don't meant to scare her. But I wasn't sure why it happen. Is it because I am sick? Or I haven't had enough sleep? Or I am low in sugar? Whatever it is, I think I am quite strong in the sense that I still make my way to go back to my room. All by myself!
That day after having a heavy late breakfast, I decided to go walk around...as usual, my favourite past time. In fact I dress up a little and I think I look good..haha...Anyway, I went to boots to help my brother's gf to buy her skin care products. Then later to M&S to get some drystore. When I finally feeling hungry it's already 3 plus in the evening. So, I walk to the stick & bone but havent make up my mind what to eat. I wanna to take away, so I was standing at the counter browsing through the menu.
Suddenly I just felt something not right. Is like as if I am going to throw out, but not really. So, I just simply order my food and grab the nearest chair nearby and sat down. In fact there were already two ladies seated at the table that I sat down.But I don't care, coz I know I need to sit down.
However the feeling of discomfort didn't go away. In fact it's getting worse and I start to feel breathless, and dizzy. I am sweating and it's cold sweat. I put my head low to feel better, but it doesn't help. The two ladies in front of me saw that I am not right. They even get me warm water. Very nice of them.
As I get dizzier, my hearing and vision start fading. It's weird, coz i know I am fainting, yet my mind is concious. Is a very funny kind of feeling. I told myself:"come back,Alice! Come back!" and I did. After a while I recover and I felt so weak. I asked a candy from the restaurant owner just incase this is cause by low in sugar. As I felt better, I pull myself up and went back to my room.
Is scary.When I told my mum I fainted.I don't meant to scare her. But I wasn't sure why it happen. Is it because I am sick? Or I haven't had enough sleep? Or I am low in sugar? Whatever it is, I think I am quite strong in the sense that I still make my way to go back to my room. All by myself!
That day after having a heavy late breakfast, I decided to go walk around...as usual, my favourite past time. In fact I dress up a little and I think I look good..haha...Anyway, I went to boots to help my brother's gf to buy her skin care products. Then later to M&S to get some drystore. When I finally feeling hungry it's already 3 plus in the evening. So, I walk to the stick & bone but havent make up my mind what to eat. I wanna to take away, so I was standing at the counter browsing through the menu.
Suddenly I just felt something not right. Is like as if I am going to throw out, but not really. So, I just simply order my food and grab the nearest chair nearby and sat down. In fact there were already two ladies seated at the table that I sat down.But I don't care, coz I know I need to sit down.
However the feeling of discomfort didn't go away. In fact it's getting worse and I start to feel breathless, and dizzy. I am sweating and it's cold sweat. I put my head low to feel better, but it doesn't help. The two ladies in front of me saw that I am not right. They even get me warm water. Very nice of them.
As I get dizzier, my hearing and vision start fading. It's weird, coz i know I am fainting, yet my mind is concious. Is a very funny kind of feeling. I told myself:"come back,Alice! Come back!" and I did. After a while I recover and I felt so weak. I asked a candy from the restaurant owner just incase this is cause by low in sugar. As I felt better, I pull myself up and went back to my room.
I took this picture after I went back to my room. God...the living zombie!Deadly pale...I guess I must take care of myself more. Try to get more sleep and eat regularly. Hasn't been very healthy I felt. Must also start exercising...I hope...sigh...
Monday, April 24, 2006
iT aLwAys hAs bEen A SmaLL sMall wOrLd...
23rd April 2006
Always know that it's a small world out there but never understand why I keep bumping into people that I knew even it's a just an overnight stay in that particular country? What is the possibility of this happening? I suppose it's small. But it happen twice to me.
First time was when I was in Sydney. I didn't contact my cousin and aunt that I was there. In fact it wasnt my plan to meet them as I thought I would be tired. But as I was just going to get some groceries in the supermart, while going down the escalator,I saw my cousin coming up the escalator...Ha...
Second time happen on my Adelaide trip. Again,I didn't expect to meet Hui Ping at such a coincident situation. I was doing some shopping while she just got off from work, and we bump into each other...ha!
Well,I always know it's been a small small world...
Always know that it's a small world out there but never understand why I keep bumping into people that I knew even it's a just an overnight stay in that particular country? What is the possibility of this happening? I suppose it's small. But it happen twice to me.
First time was when I was in Sydney. I didn't contact my cousin and aunt that I was there. In fact it wasnt my plan to meet them as I thought I would be tired. But as I was just going to get some groceries in the supermart, while going down the escalator,I saw my cousin coming up the escalator...Ha...
Second time happen on my Adelaide trip. Again,I didn't expect to meet Hui Ping at such a coincident situation. I was doing some shopping while she just got off from work, and we bump into each other...ha!
Well,I always know it's been a small small world...
Sunday, April 23, 2006
HaPPy!!!
23rd April 2006
Really happy yesterday. Really glad that I am able to spend time with my dear. I guess my msg really worked.What happen was on 20th, I was missing my dear madly despite just seen him the day before.The initial thing is we are suppose to meet on the 6th which is about 16 days later. Then I can't bear to not see him for so long.So I came up with this idea of sending him a message like this:
Congratulation,Dear Mr. Fan Ping'en! We would like to offer you a dinner at the exclusive Vansh Restaurant on the 22nd April 2006 at 1930hrs. All expenses is FOC however transport is not provided.On top of that there will be a lovely lady accompany you throughout the dinner. Of coz terms and conditions applied as this offer only valid if you aren't doing any cof. Pls bring along you IC for verification.This offer only valid if you reply within 24 hrs. Sincerely, NibbleFish.com
I can imagine the smile on Ping's face when he received this msg and of coz it works! And the answer is "YES"!!!
I never expected Ping to come over to pick me after my work though...why? I guess I've been putting too much hope before this and got so up set when he didn't do what a bf normally do for his girl. But I guess I am not to change him as one very experienced guy friend of mine said, is no point changing a guy if he himself never iniatiate it. So I learned, to be patient. And perhaps thinking that he wont change a bit at all...Well,it's a bonus today. As I always said when good thing happen in life. It's not suppose to be that way...it's bonus!!!
Anyway, here's my dear wearing the nice long sleeve white A&F shirt,blue jeans,adidas shoes, casual but nice....love it when he put his sleeve slightly higher,smart...Not good in describing how good he looks,but he is killing me.No wonder my wide smile, he said...
When we got home, Jess was at home.She seem a bit down to me. When she mentioned she has been home for the past 2 days,I invited her to join us.Though this is meant to be a date of me and Ping,but I can't bare seeing her so down...But Jess rejected which she later claimed it is not to spoilt my mood,but she is wanting to spend some time with me.
Anyway, me and my dear proceed to Vansh. It's this Indian restaurant with very nice ambience that located at the Waterfront Indoor Stadium. It was a place where Ping's team girl Ashley recommended.The first we were there, we ordered garlic and plain naan,gobi brocolli masala (cauliflower n brocolli in young ginger masala),chicken tikka masala and lady lassi. It was so nice that the next day I was still thinking to go back. Anyway, this time with last visit's experience,I didn't order any main course myself as I am such a small eater, nibbling here and there would be good enough for me.So, instead we ordered:
STARTER: chooranwale-aloo
(crunchy potato discs wf chef's blend of 36 spices,topped with spinach),
honey and sundried tomato kulzza,
MAIN COURSE: tabdorri mushrooms(fresh button mushrooms wf herbed spice),
SIDE ORDER: plain naan and one kind of fruit filled naan
DESSERT: lychee kulfi (chef's special lychee frosty) and of coz my lady lassi...
Woooooo........I expanded my little stomach quite a bit. Ping was amazed too.Anyway, the night is really good as we talked quite abit as not many couple would do and the whole night I have this "I am on top of the world" kind of look...smiling non stop.
What make me more happy was when I excuse myself to the toilet,Ping paid for the bill. I was like...WOW...as this was a date which I initiated. I really don't expect Ping to pay for it at all, but he act of gentlement really woo me...AGAIN.
This is my man!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
1st...
20th April 2006
Finally got this picture from Ping. Our first ever picture taken togather.And also found out some interesting "first time"...
Our first picture taken togather.It was 2 days before my birthday, a day before Ping asked me to be his girlfriend.It was taken at the fourtune fountain at Suntec.
This is the movie we watched...wasn't that fantastic after all...though I like Matt Damon.
Haha this was our first movie togather...with others of coz...but look at the seat numbers,see any similarity?haha...This is a nice movie!Can't remember much coz during the movie I was thinking: Ping smells good...=P
Sunday, April 09, 2006
EffOrTLeSsLY...
9th April 2006
Wake up early today,got this urge to cook...Have been thinking of doing this since yesterday. Since my housemate Jess is gonna come back in the evening,I guess is not a bad idea to cook and wait for her.So I headed to the shop 'n' save near by my place and bought some ingredients for cooking tonight.
What's in my mind? Hmm...Peanut Lotus Root Soup and Homemade Sweet Bean Sauce Steamed Fish.Yum yum...
I cooked the lotus root soup in the slow cooker thinking that it should be perfectly cooked by the time Jess is back. So, while I was doing some housework and packing my room in the same time was online msn. Then I met Jeff online.
Wake up early today,got this urge to cook...Have been thinking of doing this since yesterday. Since my housemate Jess is gonna come back in the evening,I guess is not a bad idea to cook and wait for her.So I headed to the shop 'n' save near by my place and bought some ingredients for cooking tonight.
What's in my mind? Hmm...Peanut Lotus Root Soup and Homemade Sweet Bean Sauce Steamed Fish.Yum yum...
I cooked the lotus root soup in the slow cooker thinking that it should be perfectly cooked by the time Jess is back. So, while I was doing some housework and packing my room in the same time was online msn. Then I met Jeff online.
This is the first time we chatted online. Kinda don't know what to say...so,we was chatting about my cooking,his soccer and then he commented that I reminded him of the girl in the mtv "tong hua". For a second, I thought he was referring that I look pale and sick. Then he laugh it on said that I look pretty in a classy effortless way, like the girl in the mtv.I was like...wao...
So the whole day this " classy effortlessly pretty" has been barking me and I decided to go out to Tampines Mall dressing up a little..haha...
I think this pic look effortlessly fierce,ha!
So, I went to Tampines Mall, got my picture developed and know what? I bought a dress. haha...a little black stripless dress. Wonder when I will wear this...hehe...I can imagine Ping's impression when he see me in this =P
Friday, March 10, 2006
giRLs NigHt oUt...
9th March 2006
Stayed at home the whole day getting my room packed. Been quite messy recently...
Later in the evening, Jess was back.So me and Jess decided to Suntec to meet Annie and JLo.
Stayed at home the whole day getting my room packed. Been quite messy recently...
Later in the evening, Jess was back.So me and Jess decided to Suntec to meet Annie and JLo.
In fact I felt a little down actually. Ping was back from ShangHai at 2pm but despite him calling me and offer to coming over to meet me after knowing I am in town,he stayed at home.Same thing happened again...So I am a little sad and decided to go out. Is not very "myself" coz I never like to go out this timing."Kiasi" I called myself...
Well,so here we are in Suntec. Have decided to eat at Crystal Jade and when we went to meet Annie and JLo,they were being asked by this two very good looking model-look-like couple whether they are into modeling.Ha! And when me and Jess were introduce to them by Annie. Jess came up with this idea of telling the guy she works in MNG after he commented about our tops. haha...Didn't realiase me and Jess were wearing the same brand at all. But hey, I must say Jess is very good in convincing people about her story.So, here we are two Mango sales girls.
After politely rejecting them.We went on to have our dinner. During the meal, Ping called and he was quite surprise I wasn't at home. hehe...I guess I sort of wanna let him know that although I am on standby,we could have meet up. I wonder if he ever get the hidden message?
We decided to have a drink in Balacava after the meal. As usual, I ordered fruit punch. Not that I am so against alcohol drink but I seriously don't like alcohol drink at all. The beer taste sucks and the cocktails only reminds me of the syrup medicine we had when we are sick.
As usual Annie and Jess got alot of attention and I guess I kind of get noticed because of them too.Though I doesn't enjoy the "fame" at all...So,we spent a few hour entertaining these people.Conclusion? Meaningless...
Well,my dear finally make an effort to call me during mid-night. But then I guess I am too tired to talk...
Thursday, March 02, 2006
想见你。。。
有没有告诉过你
其实我爱你
不只是喜欢那么简单
我完蛋了 我想
突然间我失去了信心
不知道自己能爱你多久
每一晚入眠
怀着满满的爱与恐惧
害怕醒来的那一刻
昨日的爱意
全然消失
会有那么一天吗
遗忘当初的一切
心里是那么地不安
是我胡思乱想
是太久没有见面的关系吗
是因为你没有联络我的缘故吗
请让我快点见到你
请让明天快点到来
只要见上你一面
心里的忐忑与不安
应该都会消失吧
总是觉得
自己付出得比较多
而你有时表现得不闻不问
是因为你没我爱你多吧
是因为你的心还没完全属于我吧
每每想到这里
心里就好难过
心想自己也不要付出了
这样大家都扯平了
可是脑是这样想
心却是唱反调的
觉得要是我俩都不在乎
这段感情大概也完蛋了吧
於是心甘情愿地
为你的行为找寻借口
安慰自己
你只是不擅表达
其实你爱我比我爱你多
因为越是说不出口的
越是刻苦铭心
但是
为什么不说
不说你爱我
希望你像我想的
只是不想把这句话
挂在嘴边
变成毫无意义的哄话
一定是这样
是这样吧
可是偶而
我是说偶而
也说一说吧
那么让人心动的哄话
偶而也让我听一听
被哄一哄
开一开心
就算是在我睡觉时
悄悄地说
我想我也会在梦里听到
而发出笑声
其实我爱你
不只是喜欢那么简单
我完蛋了 我想
突然间我失去了信心
不知道自己能爱你多久
每一晚入眠
怀着满满的爱与恐惧
害怕醒来的那一刻
昨日的爱意
全然消失
会有那么一天吗
遗忘当初的一切
心里是那么地不安
是我胡思乱想
是太久没有见面的关系吗
是因为你没有联络我的缘故吗
请让我快点见到你
请让明天快点到来
只要见上你一面
心里的忐忑与不安
应该都会消失吧
总是觉得
自己付出得比较多
而你有时表现得不闻不问
是因为你没我爱你多吧
是因为你的心还没完全属于我吧
每每想到这里
心里就好难过
心想自己也不要付出了
这样大家都扯平了
可是脑是这样想
心却是唱反调的
觉得要是我俩都不在乎
这段感情大概也完蛋了吧
於是心甘情愿地
为你的行为找寻借口
安慰自己
你只是不擅表达
其实你爱我比我爱你多
因为越是说不出口的
越是刻苦铭心
但是
为什么不说
不说你爱我
希望你像我想的
只是不想把这句话
挂在嘴边
变成毫无意义的哄话
一定是这样
是这样吧
可是偶而
我是说偶而
也说一说吧
那么让人心动的哄话
偶而也让我听一听
被哄一哄
开一开心
就算是在我睡觉时
悄悄地说
我想我也会在梦里听到
而发出笑声
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