What if...

If...
Someone who wish you "Good Night" every night,
Someone who ask you to " Take Care every time you are away...
Someone who said "Welcomed Home..."every time you are back...
Someone who noticed your feeling everytime you appear...

If there's this "someone",
What do you do?

What if...
He suddenly say nothing no more...

What if...
He suddenly disappear from your life...

What if...
You've lost him forever...

What do you do?

SmiLe bIG aNd LaUgH hArD!!!

Early morning...i got a big surprise!


































It was Derrick!
Jess was the one who answer the door when the florist delivery man came. I think she got shocked.Ha!

And she said there must be something not right. What she don't know is, I was so down yesterday that when I met Derrick for dinner. First thing he asked is :"what happen to you?".

Even he could notice I am not quite myself...So, he just wanna cheer me up!

The day before (friday), as I was on my way home after my class. Was reading this book and somehow relate myself with the character and felt so sad for myself. Almost tears and don't dare to look up afraid that someone might notice.When I got home, I sms Ping : "too much!". I don't think he ever get what it means.

I know it wasn't his fault. Is his phone and the signal oversea was bad. But I have no idea becoz he didn't bother to let me know. For total 4 days I heard nothing from him and for once, I imagine he actually doesn't excist, as if it could make me feel better.

And true enough, he didn't realiase it was a problem at all. So, I make a deal with him. No sms, no phone, no email when we are oversea. At least, no expectation wouldn't bring any dissapoinment. Just like cof, no more cof, no more unhappiness. So, problem solved.

Won't be upset anymore. I should be responsible for my own happiness. Dissapointed wih myself how I handled this matter. Never mind, lesson learned.

As for Jess said about Derrick...

He knows and he don't expect anything...
He like it this way...
He is happy like this...
Is he silly?

Nah...we are the silly one....

Revolution of the month: Smile big and laugh hard!!!

两个人的寂寞。。。

有过这种感觉吗？
自己在和自己谈恋爱
拼命地拍打着空气
以为这就是声音

突然怀疑他的存在
甚至觉得一切都是梦
我想我真的是有了时差。。。待续。。。

Just smile...

Well...2nd blog of the day...the previous one was a few minutes ago.ha! Sometimes this happen when you got so much in your mind but don't know how to put in word one shot.

Got back from work today.Got a little disturbed as still wasn't comfortable working with my supervisor. Need to overcome this. Although I know he did put in effort to create a condusive environment. Just...You know, there are people you know they work with their heart, some work with experience and mind. He is the 2nd type. As a leader, he is brilliant considering all the small details that most leaders will overlook. Yet, I can't sense his sincerity...

Just a simple smile makes the different. Of coz it gotto be genuine...A genuine smile is so powerful that it melts ones heart...I just wish...he could show more genuine smile to his own surbodinates...Did I ask too much today? Call me greedy!

“永远”只是个梦。。。

Haven't been talking to Jess for a week now.

So, now what? My fault is it, of getting everyone into this situation? Well, I don't know. As much as I am concern bout her, I still can't lay down to her. Like Sumiko Tan said in her column in ST today: "I couldn't and I didn't " as she felt she doesn't deserved to the harsh word that her friend said to her. I can't be more agreed. I don't deserved cold shoulder from a friend who I regards as a "close friend".

I never have many friends though I might know alot of people.But those that regards as a friend mean a lot to me. So, I am sadden that she treat me this way as if I meant nothing in her heart. I am just a "housemate + normal friend" she happen to encounter.

我不勉强
我不强求
早知道“永远”是梦想
我还是喜欢发梦。。。

请尊重我好吗？

叫我小气！叫我自私！我受不了了！！！

原本好意替JESS折衣服，因为她病了！可是却发现我的短裙在她洗好的衣服堆里。那是一件我许久未穿的短裙。我以为是我们不小心混乱了，或是她也有一样的裙子，因为她很多这类的裙子，于是不以为意。。。

于是继续折下去。。。又发现了另一个我从未穿过的DRESS。怎么可以这样？

不是我介意她穿我的衣服。而是她根本没有问过我！而且这件衣服已经洗好了，那就表示那是好几天前的事。

我受不了！ 越来越觉得我们不能再住在一起了！ 我讨厌东西被弄乱。更讨厌的是不被尊重。原本就知道我们彼此的不同。她是夜猫子，我习惯早睡早起；她很轻眠，于是早起的我每每会小心翼翼地不愿把她吵醒。。。我只要一个基本的尊重。分担家务，用后碗筷自己洗。垃圾要定时丢。别把用了的锅子留在炉上。想象如果你不回来，家里没有人，它就会留在那儿整整三天，食物变臭。这是什么家？

够了。。我想已经够了。。。

我好幸福！！！

昨天算是蛮充实的一天吧？ 中午和Derrick看了场电影－Night In The Museum。起初对这部电影并没有什么期许，就喜剧嘛。。。然而可能也因为这样，觉得这电影实在不错，是一部轻松带点惊喜的电影。

看完电影，在等待永佳和Elice的同时，和Derrick 喝下午茶。间种谈了很多，因为太久没有见面了，一直谈着的话题可能有点重复着，因此发现他真的很在意我。我很多事他都记得。去旅行时，也总会想起我，而买了纪念品回来。想想我何德何能，竟然被那么地重视着。觉得有点惭愧，但他也明白我的心容不下第二个人了。我不敢奢望他一直对我好，象哥哥对妹妹一样。不过我一定会珍惜这份友情。。。

和永佳·Elice 吃饭谈起了Eeleen最近发生的大事。觉得她实在是个太感情用事的人。永佳说快乐不因建筑在一个男人身上。我没回应，因为我想我的部分快乐的确建筑在我周遭的人身上。但这不代表我不会对自己的快乐负责，只是当周遭的人快乐时，我也同样快乐。

就象那天买了个礼物给平恩。看着他拿着礼物的样子，我好幸福。我嚷着要拍下照片，以图为证，其实只是好想把他当时那快乐的表情永远记录下来。

11时17分，夜。

接到平恩远从伦敦拨来的电话。

“新年快乐”他说

“嗯。。。”我要哭了。
“为什么。。。”电话费很贵的。

“想和dear dear说声新年快乐。用电话卡，不会很贵。”

“你好吗？”笨蛋！其实是想说：我好想你！

“嗯，睡了一觉，好多了！”他的声音好温柔。

“。。。。”还有很多话想对你说，从那里开始呢？

“那我挂电话了。。。”怎么办？我还有很多话要说！！！

“我爱你！”他说。突然我平静了下来，不慌了。

“我也爱你！”

原来就是那么简单的三个字，包含了思念以及一切复杂情感。好简单哦。。。