我好幸福！！！

昨天算是蛮充实的一天吧？ 中午和Derrick看了场电影－Night In The Museum。起初对这部电影并没有什么期许，就喜剧嘛。。。然而可能也因为这样，觉得这电影实在不错，是一部轻松带点惊喜的电影。

看完电影，在等待永佳和Elice的同时，和Derrick 喝下午茶。间种谈了很多，因为太久没有见面了，一直谈着的话题可能有点重复着，因此发现他真的很在意我。我很多事他都记得。去旅行时，也总会想起我，而买了纪念品回来。想想我何德何能，竟然被那么地重视着。觉得有点惭愧，但他也明白我的心容不下第二个人了。我不敢奢望他一直对我好，象哥哥对妹妹一样。不过我一定会珍惜这份友情。。。

和永佳·Elice 吃饭谈起了Eeleen最近发生的大事。觉得她实在是个太感情用事的人。永佳说快乐不因建筑在一个男人身上。我没回应，因为我想我的部分快乐的确建筑在我周遭的人身上。但这不代表我不会对自己的快乐负责，只是当周遭的人快乐时，我也同样快乐。

就象那天买了个礼物给平恩。看着他拿着礼物的样子，我好幸福。我嚷着要拍下照片，以图为证，其实只是好想把他当时那快乐的表情永远记录下来。

11时17分，夜。

接到平恩远从伦敦拨来的电话。

“新年快乐”他说

“嗯。。。”我要哭了。
“为什么。。。”电话费很贵的。

“想和dear dear说声新年快乐。用电话卡，不会很贵。”

“你好吗？”笨蛋！其实是想说：我好想你！

“嗯，睡了一觉，好多了！”他的声音好温柔。

“。。。。”还有很多话想对你说，从那里开始呢？

“那我挂电话了。。。”怎么办？我还有很多话要说！！！

“我爱你！”他说。突然我平静了下来，不慌了。

“我也爱你！”

原来就是那么简单的三个字，包含了思念以及一切复杂情感。好简单哦。。。

Cheerios........

This is my favourite cereal- Cheerios. A typical American cereal where it's made of oat n whole grain. Although there's similar one in S'pore but nothing taste quite like this. Has finished at least 6 boxes for the past 3 months. And this is the precious last box. Thanks to the generous contribution of my dear dear...sob sob...moved....

It's my fixed course in my breakfast where I will eat it with strawberry yogurt instead of milk. The rich and creamy yogurt plus the crunchy cheerios...Oh, I wish I could have breakfast 3 meals a day.

So, what do I do after the last box is finished?Well, let's just concentrate on the present...ha!

It's ShOoTinG tImE...

sHooTing iN aCtIon...

Haha...favourite past time of couples- self shooting. I guess I am getting better in this due to... what else but vainity? But look at our hilarious expression...hehe...there are certainly more to come!!!

SisTeR oF tHe dAy...

23rd Dec 2006

So, here I am early in the morning at Selina's place. It's her wedding day and I promised to be her sister of the day...Well, no experience in being a sister so I have totally no idea what I need to do. Lucky enough there's 5 of us, so I just keep quiet and follow. ha!

So, the usual thing we do. Fix a "nice" cocktails for the bridesgroom. It's diet coke with all kinds of ingredient that you can find in a kitchen. And as caring as us, we add a raw egg giving the reason--it can boost up the bridesgroom's energy level at night...haha...evil...

Well, the first step of asking "ang pao" from Weng(he's the man of the day!!) has been a failure. Because the "smart" and cunning Weng has the key into the house.

Lesson 1: Bring your own lock next time...

However, we show the guys that we aren't so easily defeated. With two of us safe guarding the bride's room. The other 3 sisters bargaining with the brothers. When we ask them to drink the specially fixed cocktail, that's when you know who your brother really is. All "siam"!!! haha...So, the cocktail was pass from one to another and no one wanted to be the victim. And without realising that they drink it, it's a empty cup they hand it back. Well, well, if you think we are so easy to be settle, you make the biggest mistake of your life.

Lesson 2: Woman like proof, so don't tell us what you've done,show us instead.Or we'll just ignore it.

So, instead of letting them go. We fix another drink and this time is not so tasty...but simple enough. Just Asahi beer and raw egg. Haha...Well, it smell like...vomiters...Ewwww....

So, the guy left with no choice but to get one sip each. Haha...

Now, here come the bargaining part. Money!

Having 5 of us, we set a high budget--1000 bucks. Expecting some bargaining we plan to settle at 500. But this stingy Weng is not easy to fool...188,that all he have, take it or leave it. Leave it? It's your wife who we are talking about and the amount you can give it is 188? 188 devide by 5, it's only 30+ a person....Hello!

Lesson 3: Be generous, at least on your wedding days!

Seem like the bargaining doesn't work. And last solution for the guys---force in! Now you can see a few guys (don't know how many of them, definately more than the gals), pushing and pulling the girls forcing to go in to the room. God!!!! I should have jst wear my heels. At least I have something to protect myself. Instead, I got pulled, pushed, stepped and end up bruise, and bleeding. @#$%^&*()_....

Lesson 4: It's always war between guys and gals....

Finally I am tired, we are tired, and for Selina's sake, we settled at 288....Sigh...

The wedding night was a much better one. Without any of this violet scene appear.We are all peace and beautiful. To Selina and Weng, Happy Newly Wed! *muaks*

Girls in Masks....

Here's my man...

Brothers and sisters...

Join the loving couple...

It's a lovely evening with good food and lotsa laughter...A wedding that I totally enjoy myself. Too bad I have to leave early coz I am working tomorrow.

Anyway, just so glad that Ping is with me tonight...

Sometime there are moment you just wanna share with the special one...

SiMpLy vAiN....

21st Dec 2006

There's always a sense of vainity in all girls. I am not exceptional...ha! Perhaps could be very vain at times...

威胁圣诞老公公。。。

20th Dec 2006

好奇怪。。。发觉自己不只有“起床气”，也有“睡前气”。尤其没睡饱或很累的时候，我可是个蓄势待发的火山。。。还枉费自己长得一副“小鸟伊人，温柔婉悦”的模样（想去呕的话，请便！〕

就象平恩常说的，他很容易就看得出我疲倦或精神饱满的时候。碰了几次钉子，他也学会“闪”。好吧！就趁圣诞节许个“宏愿”＝P 希望每天都能睡饱饱！圣诞老公公，如果你还想我明年庆祝圣诞节的话，最好别惹我生气，让我睡饱饱！

Tired...

15th Dec 2006

One ought not to force herself when she is too tired...

A lesson learned yesterday. As I came back from work and was tired as I woke up as early as 4.30am ,and have slept for only 5 hours. It's tiring. Moreover, it's a busy day at work and I didn't even have time to have my lunch.

So, by the time I am back home. I am run out of energy. Yet, the fact that I wanted to spend more time with Ping, I force myself to showered, changed and ready to go. But I received a message from Ping that he is bringing her mum to hospital as one of her eye happen to be appearing red. So, the dinner was delayed. It was like 5.20pm at that time. So, I decided to take my time to S'pore Indoor Stadium--taking a bus.

However when I arrived at Bedok Bus Interchange. I realiased that the bus I suppose to take doesn't go to Stadium Cres. Maybe I make a mistake or the route of the bus had change. Well, it's 6.15pm. Fearing that I will be late. I took a cab instead. Just as I got onto the cab, told the taxi driver where I wanna go, Ping called. He said the doctor is not there and they have to wait another 30 minutes. He ask me to go slowly....with my last sense of humour, I thought: Should I walk there then? Anyway, I decided to just take a cab. I shall be there in half and hour and probably by then they are done. As I arrived 6.45pm ( The inniatial plan is to meet at 6pm), it was just after a rain and the air is cold. So I just stand there and wait. I messaged Ping that I've already arrived and ask him to message me when they are here. In the end, I waited 1 hour plus, counting no. of busses and taxi that have pass by. I lost count after the 8th bus and the 6th taxi passed.

It's cold out here, and I am feeling chilling and tired. Ping asked me to go into the restaurant and wait, but I refused. But don't bother to explain it's because it's already cold out here, what's more if it's inside the air-conditioned restaurant? Well, so I wait and wait and wait...

Time seem to pass slow and I have an urge to go home. Just give an excuse like : My brother forgot to bring his key, need to go back now...etc. But....well, I am so angry of myself. Why make myself standing alone outside like a pity homeless soul? Especially when one group of people passed by me, before and after their dinner, they gave me this look that make me feel like hiding somewhere until Ping's here. Say...the toilet?

I am hungry, tired and cold. Emotionally I am so weak that I can feel that I would cry anytime. I try hard not to do that, as I never like crying in the public. Finally he's here. I am actually not angry at him, but I wasn't in my mood to give him a smiley face or what. I tried not to show his mother and guests my real feeling. Wouldn't want to spoilt their night.

But I guess he can sense it. He tried to grab my hand but I hide it under my tighs claiming that I am cold. When we were walking along the bridge after dinner, I still don't want to hold his hand. It's a reaction of rejecting any body contact with him. I knew that's my weakness when I am upset or tired. I didn't want to tell him how badly I hurt myself today when I was working. How I volunteered to a position that no one would take. How my supervisor turn out to be a inappreciative cold blood animal.

Well, I guess it's just not my day. And I've learned: Never push yourself too hard, even when your desire is stronger than your mind. Most of the time, mind speaks the truth.

LoNg DiStaNce LoVe...

05 Dec 2006

Bought a interesting book last week. It's a translation of a Japanese novel called "Long Distance Love".

It's a story about a woman who met the love of her life one day before both of them apart. One remain in Tokyo and the other went to New York. Ever since then, they stay in touch through email and calls. They were deeply in love, yet far apart. Could this relationship been beutified because of its distance? For a person who doesn't believe in long distance relationship like me, i can't help but wonder...What make me puzzled is that this relationship lasted 13 years until they finally meet again. Of couse in between the author create a twist in between two main charactors that makes them apart for that long--a thrid party. The woman end up marrying someone that appear short after, and carry on her life. But deep down, she know somewhere, somehow, one part of her heart was left behind somewhere. Of course it can't be a happy marriage as the woman didn't gave in to her husband full-heartedly. So, they end divorcing. So, this woman left Tokyo, and went to New York. Somehow fate bought these two person togather again. 13 years has passed, but they found the innitial feeling that was left behind....Happy ending...i guess...ha!

Anyway, what attracts me to read this book is the title of the book. It sort of remind me and Ping. I guess we are in a kind of long distance relationship that we can't meet often and maybe as little as 3 times a month. It sometimes amazed me that I am still in the relationship and still so much in love and missing him. I guess I have learned to endure this loneliness with the excuse of my study. I am definately guilty of that. When I went to class so often despite the fact I just off work or were too tired to go. Still, I drag myself to class and learn to enjoy it. It became a priority to me to anything else.

I also learned to work hard. Changing my schedule so often that I have no time at home. It's just work and study. "pak toh"? has been a long time. Usually we just go for a meal. Too tired.

Deep down inside, I am afraid. This relationship won't last long. It's as if not much connection between two of us. I don't know if I could do anything. Change my schedule, so that we work togather, spend more time togather? I don't want to go through that kind of dissapointment anymore...

Well, no point to pour my head into this messy thoughts. I shall just concerntrate in my study and live on my life. Future is impredictable. You never know who you end up with...sigh...

Crazy...but beautifully

梦婷，Charlene & I

1st meal of the day



My photographer 小串



My make up artist, 小彩







梦婷& Charlene




17th Nov 2006

Call me insane or nuts...Could it be too much nuts that I had...haha...

Went for a makeover shooting for the first time in my life. Never expect to do it actually but since my colleague had make a reservation, so i decided to do it if they have a slot for me. So there we are, the shooting place.

I choice 3 outfits which contain of a white and black gown and a enhanced kimono. As usual, I took a long time to decide what to wear for the photo shoot. Personally I don't like the kimono at all,felt very "auntie". But Charlene and my make up artist keep convinced me that it's nice. Sigh...Love the white gown the most.Make me felt as if I am photo shooting my wedding pic=P

It's a total new experience to me. I suddenly understand how those models felt when they are in a photo shoot scene. With the heavy make up, music and interaction with the photographer... you felt you are no more yourself. And a photographer can really make you beautiful...or rather feel beautiful.

When I see the pictures, I can't believe it's me. I guess,although these pictures are deceiving...but any woman would want to believe that the beautiful one is herself... haha...Kino(my album designer) said I look like 天心 in the photos.

I can't wait to show Ping =)

CrAzY AbOuT NiPPoN

11th Nov 2o06

Japan is one of my favourite country. Simply love the food, the shopping and the walking around exploring the place.

Loving Japan started far before the "J-pop" hit Asia. I was 15 in 1999 and were in Hiroshima for a 2 months student exchange. Ever since then, I have fall in love with this country and culture. Although in that 2 months I also gain a "horrible" 10 kg due to the hospitality of my friends and foster family...hahaha...anyway....













This Osaka trip has been a rewarding one...emm...maybe not to my wallet...haha...For lunch I have a typical Japanese Katsu set meal. The miso soup and tofu was so good yet easy to prepare. Wait....what about my diet plan? emm...maybe after this !

Was in Fancl shop looking at the product. Saw this fat measuring machine and tried it out. It's a small machine where you just need to key in your particular like weight, height, age and gender.After which you just hold on to it and it will measure the fat content in your body. Mine was 21% and according to the chart, mine was normal. Again, another excuse for not dieting.

Jeanie was buying this colagen drinks that has claimed to have the effect of beutified your skin. Well, as my personal experience, I think bird's nest is the best. Moreover it's tastier.Unlike the colagen drink, you only need to drink once a week and beside beautified ur skin, adding a few pieaces of ginseng, it also has the rejunevating effect.

At night , after a long day, I settle down for KFC's tomato cabbage soup. It was so good that I almost tempted to buy another one. Sinful....Not to mention the Mister Donut that I suppose to keep it for breakfast...Sigh..

Nippon Dai Suki Desu!!!!

New Bed!!!!

07th Nov 2006

Yeah...I got a new bed. And guess what? It's Queen Size! Which mean I can roll here and there...do some stretching before bed on it...even lie wide open on the bed.

It has always been in my mind to get a new bed. Especially when Ping were to stay overnight at my place, we often end up sleepless as my original single bed is too small to occupy two people. So few days ago I went to Carefour with Ping and his mother to view some mattress. It was helding a promotion and we spent almost an hour deciding on which bed to get.

I was really tempted to buy one but the price sort of stop me. As my brother is coming, I know I will spend more money than usual and is it a wise choice to pay SGD799 for a matress? As far as I wish to have a good night sleep and I know how a good mattress can make a difference, but I have a budget to consider...Knowing my worries, Ping offer to help me pay half of the amount....how sweet! So, what else I have to worry about?

So, here's my new bed! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Bookshelf...

02nd Nov 2006

Was packing the spare room for my brother. He is finally coming to S'pore to work and stay with me. At first, I wasn't very keen with the idea of him staying with me as it meant I will have less freedom. Sort of too use to not having to tell anyone where I go, what time I'll be home,etc. But I guess is also good that I have someone here with me...someone who I knew all my life.

So, as I have trouble finding place to keep my files and books, I decided to "expand" my bookshelf. It wasn't easy. The last time I did it, I hurt my fingers and bleed. Now, I learn my lesson and uses a pair of glove as a layer of protection.

Here's my work...

After few hours of hard work! Result? Briliant!!!!

一个人。。。

26th Oct 2006

我在学习一个人生活
把重心放回自己身上
这几天我都过得不错
没有太想念平
甚至觉得这样的生活其实还很不错

看杂志上说
天枰座感情有第三者
处女座感情有变动
该怎么办呢
顺其自然吧

JEFF 这几天都有MSG我
同事问我是男朋友吗
猛然发现他MSG我的次数竟然比平还多
有点担心
有问题吗

算了顺其自然吧

现在的我。。。

23rd Oct 2006

我现在的生活有点象活在梦中
很完美
当然人生一定有遗憾
只是结果是满足
所以完美

昨天我发了个梦
梦见他的祝福
于是不禁想当中的意义

平凡的生活
平凡的人生
平静的爱
现在的我
很平静

希望一切幔下来
说话
头脑
人生
一切都象放慢脚步
细心品尝

The right guy....

21st Oct 2006

Yesterday was a day that it would turn out to be the worst of my life...i thought. Since morning before I went to work, I was trying to tell myself: I have been through worse than this, I am going to be fine.

Jeanie message me and share alot with me. I suddenly felt ashamed that I was so focus on what I am going through and neglected people around me. These days have become all about me...I felt sorry for Jeanie as what she's going through. At first she told me it was jus flu and migrain but then she finally decide to tell me and it was actually brain tumour. It has been years since she had it. And it is an on and off thing. There are time,she felt okay. But there are also time she felt so lousy. Jess use to tell me about Jeanie, saying that she is a dirvocee. But I always take what Jeanie said as she call off the wedding after ROM. But the truth is his fiance actually pull off after Jeanie was dignose with brain tumour. No wonder she is always so afraid to commit to another relationship. But how could someone leave his wife when she is sick, moreover he has promise to be with you no matter sick or poor...he is your husband to be, the one who suppose to stay with you for the rest of your life...

There's a saying of the Chinese: Man are afraid they choose the wrong career; while woman are afraid if they choose the wrong guy. Being as "egoistic" as me, I wouldn't want to lie my future in a man's hand. However,I agree that how can "choosing a right guy" change your life....

Am I with the right guy....?

The Departed...

19th Oct 2006

Finally we went to Harbour Front newly open Vivo City. I am the one who suggested that....to take a walk. After what happen, I felt we have to really spend some time togather.

In fact it turn out to be a rewarding day. We walk, we talk, we hug, we kiss...well, something most couple do, but it's been a long time, it felt.

We also watched "The Departed" by Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon. It is actually the english version of "Wu Jian Dao". The original version is a Hong Kong production by Andy Lao and Tony Leong.

Somehow, it is a bit dissapointing as I am expecting it to be different from the original version. But, I guess they think the original is too good to be change. Well, not a total waste of money but it is meant for those who never watch the original one before.

There's a part where the psychologist ( Matt Damon's gf ; doctor of Leonardo) was saying , life is full of doubt...This kind of hit me a little. I guess I am in the stage where I am unsure of lotsa of things. In doubt...

ReAdjUst. ReFoCus. ReMemBer

15th October 2006

After having the conversation over the phone with Ping...I wonder how we started "argue" (Ping don't argue, basically I am the one who is unhappy) about him changing his roster causing us not to meet on 16th.

Again his intention is to shorten the time we will be apart. However I see it that he is risking our confirm off day to a unknown off day in the future, which mean we might or might not have the common off day. It kind of upset me...

Somehow we talked about how he thinks and why he react the way he is. He said, when it comes to changing his roster, money is the main priority. I felt....I don't how I feel when he said that. It sort of give me a waken call: "Hello~~Where have you put your priority to?" I wanted to tell him so much that, while u are busy focusing on what you want, you might lose what you already have...

I guess I sort of shifted my priority to the wrong place all this while. It is no point being there alone, when u being taken for granted of...Or should I say I weighed myself far too important. I guess is time to READJUST, REFOCUS, REMEMBER my priority. Maybe Ping is right.

Things won't be easy for the next few days. I just need to be positive and face the problem myself. Give me strength and wisdom, my Lord!

Thought of Fwuji when I was having the conversation with ping...I can't help but think. If I were who I am today, what happen to me and Fwuji would be diff. Same thing happen but i come up with diff approach.I guess it's all about timing and fate.

相信

除去面纱
我在哭泣
心里酸酸地
胸口闷闷地
感觉快乐不曾来过

我其实没你想象的坚强
如果可以
希望能够有个人依靠
如果可以
我也不想逞强
好想撒娇

感觉周围随时都会崩塌
除了现在
什么都不真实

可是有你
总觉得大雨过后

一定就会出现彩虹

至少我还是那么相信着

我愿意相信

你所说的那个未来

我愿意期待

有你有我的那个白色小屋

我愿意原谅

你偶尔地不细心

但请不要让我太难过

好吗

CoVeriNg oWn Ass...

08th Oct 2006

So sad...first time I felt so discouraged by things happen in my job.

I know somehow is affected me...I just can't understand why someone so reputable could say something so irresponsible...just becoz he wanna cover his own ass...

Did I mistaken him? Should I clarify with him? I guess I should, when I see him next time. After all, it's something I need to face it. And I hate it when it's hanging there...

Settled...

09th Oct 06

Finally I sort of settled my problem...

What happen was, my landlord decided to increase the rental and in this case Jess and I will have to pay 475 bucks per person. It's as good as getting my own house. Ha!

But now that we've talk to my landlord and had decided to rent the whole place instead of just the two rooms which mean we only need to find someone else to cut the rental.That sort of solved the problem for now.

Well, thanks to this incident, I realiase how much in total I am paying each year just for my rental. It hasn't hit me hard when Jenny told me that she spent almost a good 60 thousand for her rental for her all these years in Sg. But now that I am calculating myself, wow...I could have buy another house in M'sia.

Somehow, it pop up Ping's mind : Why don't we just buy a place? Here, "we" means he n I. Hehe...Although he is talking in a practical point of view. Yet I wish he could pop this question in a more romantic way...never mind...

Anyway, after calculating money that we need to buy a house, the idea sort of blow off. Though he said his mum could help...I wonder how.But I guess it best waited till we are both fully ready (financially), or else it will be really tight and I don't like that. Two years. I told myself.

My Holidays III

24th Sept - 03rd Oct 2006

Taken by him, my favourite pic...

"I was force to....."

we don't know him but he wanna take pic....weird...

Hiking when I am sick...pale

My Holidays II

24th Sept-03rd Oct 2006

Giant with the small tree house...

I want a bigger house....

Stuck back your tougue!!!

The Washington Lake....

Sometimes my camera still take nice pic...

My Holidays...

24th Sept- 03rd Oct 2006

The aircraft that I am taking to LA

Flight that I am taking

View from the aircraft

Landing to LA soon...

Ping's mother and I on UA's flight to Portland

Mount St. Helens's Cold Lake

The volcanic Mt. St.Helens

Ping's sister, mother & I

My dear looks good in this pic...

Stay In Charge...

03 Oct 2006

Back from Los Angeles, after almost 24 hours of none stop flying,catching flights...I am finally back in my own sweet home. The past 24 hours hasn't been a pleasant one as I rush to catch my flights from LA to S'pore due to the delayed of domestic flight from S.Frisco to LA. Never in my life, I felt so....rush...

Anyway, this wasn't really the worst part. Have you ever push a trolley which carry 3 luggages (each weighed about 70 pounds) , running amost 1.5 km to catch a flight? Worst is I am pushing it up the escalator(My mistake of under estimating the heaviness of the luggages)...What happen? Well, the small( but it's not the lightest) luggage on top of the two big luggages roll over me and i am kinda stuck on the escalator. Can you imagine when the escalator is still moving while you are stuck with 3 luggages and you are force to move along? Result: I am obviously still surviving...or else who is writting here? Just 2 patches of big blue black on my arm and leg...

It wasn't that bad actually.At least we manage to catch our flight. But I sort of fall in to the bad mood mode that i just keep quiet. Maybe is just feeling tired, maybe is I still don't feel well...(fall sick two days ago while I was still in portland).

But it sort of trigle me when Ping just left me and went to find another seat which he then explain it's to let me have 3 seats by myself so that I could sleep. He also claimed that he had told me before he left to go and "chop" the seat. Well, here's another good example of MISCOMMUNICATION:things that you said if didn't being heard defeat the purpose of saying it. Serious, I didn't hear him saying anything...

So from LA to Tokyo and Tokyo to S'pore, I have 3 seats by myself. At first, I was quite upset. How can he just left me there? I am so tired after the rush, now he just leave me alone? However this " angry" mood deosn't stay long. It gone after I went to the toilet.

You guys ust be curious what happen in the toilet right? Well, I sort of look into the mirror and asked: " who is this ugly girl who look so angry?" Then I smile at myself and I realiase she is me.
I don't like when I look so upset. My happiness shouldn't have depend on others. I should be the one who incharge of my own happiness. So when I came back from the toilet, I am in a total different mood. The later part of the flight became a much enjoyable one...

Long day....

19th Sept 2006

God...Schedule has been really tight these days. Has been sleeping less than 4 hour each and every day. Work, study and holiday during my birthday. I need a good rest....

Yesterday was a totally worn off day for me. Came back from work in the morning and without showering. (I know is unhygenic, but when you are tired and worn off, sleep is the up most important thing in your mind). So, I crash to the bed and caught a solid 3 hours nap. Although not long after I fall asleep, Ping's mother called me to ask if i had already gone down to the office to change my flight ticket. I was filled with guilt that I should go down as soon as possible, yet knowing that today will be a long day for me, I need to sleep now! 11am, got waken by the sms that Ping's mother sent me. I rushed to the toilet and take a quick shower and rushed out,hopefully I can get my ticket done before the lunch time. So, within half an hour, I am in the office already.

I managed to change my ticket, and to my surprise it only took me 10 minutes to do so. Efficient!!!Then with some time to spare, I had a quick lunch in the staff canteen. Had my favourite popiah and honey grapefruit juice. And proceed to town.

I was so tired and in the 1/2 hour mrt journey, I actually fallen asleep. Not very usual for me, as I dislike to sleep in the public. Then I went for my facial appointment for 3 hours. Fall asleep in between again. After my facial, I met Jess for dinner and happen that she actually meeting Kevin. So, 3 of us end up having dinner at cafe cartel.

Kevin is a nice guy and 3 of us have a great time togather. Suppose to go for my class after the meal, but Jess wanted me to join them for movie. Filled with tireness and what I want is only to sleep. Almost tempted to go movie with them coz i think i can sleep in the cinema. But I guess I have the guilt of not attending classes thinking that I will miss the next two weeks lectures, I better go. So in less then half n hour to spare. I rushed to class on time.

Although the last half n hour I can't really catch what he is talking about (too sleepy). But at least it's not a waste trip. Then as I was heading home, I met Xing down stair my house. He is waiting for Jess to message him as he've got something to pass to her. Jess promise to message him when she is back home. Knowing that Jess is already at home, I urge him to go up. But he refuse and ask me to pass the thing to her. Sensing that something is wrong, I told Xing Jess wanted to eat ( She called me ealier on) . Without hesistation, Xing offer to buy her supper. Because he is not familiar with the place, I offer to direct him. So we drove to Bedok North to take away chicken wings and dessert.

While we were waiting for the chicken wings to be ready, Jess message me and xing. Jess told Xing that she is not at home yet. And she told me Kevin is at home. Of coz what she don't know is, Xing is with me. So,fearing that Xing will find out, I ask Jess to ask Kevin to leave. My message sound fierce and scare Kevin off a little. He must be wondering how can a person be so nice in a second n the next moment she is so fierce. But then I don't care. What I fear more is,Xing will get hurt coz I knew he is a nice guy.

Anyway, when we were home. Kevin is already gone and Jess finally understand why I reacted that way in the message. Feeling touch and guilt, she told me she was crying talking to Xing over the phone yesterday.

Well, I sort of scolded her cause I felt she is making people feel hopeful yet don't want to commit. I said she is not ready in any serious relationship although she wants it very much.She is just still not ready for one yet...

The One...

13 Sept 2006

So we came to the serious talk...
As Ping dad leaving soon to US, he asked Ping to get marry if he is ready. Something that always cross a parent 's mind when your son seem to have a stable relationship. And Ping standard answer as always:" Another two years." haha...

I guess, two year is a good timing as we are financially and mentally prepare. By then I should have finish my study, five years in my job mean sense of steadiness in life and of cause, the long waited 15k!!!

I guess I have change my mind about getting marry at 28-30. That was a target I set for myself far before I started my 1st relationship,those yound days... But now I felt if you are into this relationship so seriously, anytime is possible. And we are so in love with each other.Each and everyday the feeling just grow...I never thought this was possible.

Someone will think I am crazy, as I am only 22(soon). What make you think he is the ONE? I guess no one can answer that. No one in any age could answer this question. WHO IS THE ONE? We crack our head finding answer, refusing to commit as we fear there is a better one out there. But the truth is, we don't know. At this moment, he is the one.

I dreamt of this dream that it is the day I get marry and I was on the street in my wedding gown where my husband-to-be is busy sweeping the street. Weird huh? The funniest thing is that he is not Ping but a HK actor that we always see on TV. Lim Bao Yi, anyone know who is he? The guy who named Henry in the drama series Healing Hands. Funny...When I told Ping, he was laugh non-stop as usual...Then he said to me, I hope I can be your road sweeper. Isn't that the sweetest thing you could hear from a man? When there are dozen of man outside, fearing to commit and here there is this guy that looking forward to make you his wife and the mistress of his white dream house ( well, this is another story...) I guess life couldn't be any better....

Kazoku mitai...

27th August 2006

After work, Ping's father came to pick me up. Was so tired after 12 hours of work, all I wanted is someone to welcome me home... And uncle did...with that kind of warm smile that I can only find in my family.

As he was driving me home, as we were talking, suddenly (I wonder how actually) he asked did Ping ever tell me about why he wanna pursue his study to US.

*Yes, he said it's your dream*
*That's not the full answer...*
*.......*
*Has Ping ever mention to you my medical condition?*
*Ya...*
*Actually I had my artery 50% blocked....If I don't take care of myself,I will end up like my father.He was paralysed and my mother has to take care of him for 15 years. It's a emotional journey. If I had a stroke and I will be a burden to my wife and Ping. The only way to save my life is keep on working. I can't stop. That's the reason I choose to study at this point of time. If I stay in S'pore, the most I can work is for another few years. I rather keep on moving until I get heart attack and die right away...*
I am speechless...total speechless. I never thought uncle has thought so much. And what he thinks is all for the best benefit of everyone.
*people might said that : you are so selfish! But they don't know the actual reason why I am doing this. So, I just keep quiet and grip on...*
*Have you told Ping about this before?*
*I did talk to him about it. But maybe he didn't think I am serious...or he thought that I was joking.*
I am sure Ping doesn't think that way. I am sure Ping know what you meant. I am sure...I didn't say out...
*As far as I know, Ping has been very supportive to you.*
*I know they are very supportive. But maybe they haven't feel it yet. That's why I would like to ask you for a favour,you and Ping to spend more time with my wife when I am away.*
* I know. Me and Ping was talking about it too...*
* In fact I actually propose to Ping for you to stay at my place, the other room. It's good for you too, since our place is nearer to SIM where you studying.*
*Yupe, I understand. In term of location, it's true. But I got many more to consider, like my housemate. And actually my mother doesn't agree with me staying at your place either coz she felt that is not right...*
*coz you and Ping are not marry yet.*
* Sort of...but I guess I will stay over at your place more often now, for example after my class...Bishan Chalet...*

Uncle smiled.

Such conversation show something. Uncle does treat me like a family. The fact that he felt Ping is really serious about our relationship put him to open up to me. I am gladful, that he is willing to share....

I am must be a genius!

11th August 2006

Once in a while you just need to be a little "thick skin", a little bit " over-confident"...hehehe...That's how I felt after attempting this "Vegetarian Cha Bee Hoon"!!! I must say there is some "talent" in me...hahaha! Gam-Ba-de-Ne!

The Time Traveller's Wife

07 August 2006

Was reading "The Time Traveller's Wife" on my way from KLIA to the city. Has been telling people this is a good book but don't seem to be able to describe it. It's about this guy who has the ability to travel to the past and future. In another word, he is a time traveller. However he can't choose when or where to travel to. He has total no control in this ability and whenever he time-travel, he can't bring anything with him. This is a very odd situation and most of the time cause him in danger eventually caused his death. Sad story...Not a smart choice to read in public especially you can't held your tears....

iT's NoT tHe diStAncE iSSuE....

02 August 2006

Ok..time for confession. About what I said about yesterday, about doing a little experiment on Ping. What I have decided to do is, not messaging Ping and see how long it takes for him to remember of me and text me. I sort of realiase that he doesn't initiate messaging me. Most of the time he "REPLY" my message. So I really wonder how long would it take for my dear to "remember" me? Hahah...what a funny way to say it. Result: I gave up! Just a few hour after I wrote the post. He message me and ask me if I take any bird nest and he bought something for my mum. Well, perhaps who is "remember" was my mum.hahah...Anyway, he is such a sweet guy... And all I can say is that distance might not be the big issue here. The biggest issue is the fact that I couldn't see him, hear him and hold him....that's hurt.

I never know that I could be so "cheesy"? Well, regarding myself a total independent woman. I can eat by myself in the public, go shopping myself, do almost everything by myself. Yet, the feeling of not having Ping by myself just isn't what I like to feel.

There's this chinese song by Jiang Mei Qi ( a taiwanese singer). It's call " Dear, why aren't you here with me?".

Dear, why aren't you here with me?

How much time do we have that we could waste?

No matter how sweet is the calling

How comforting is the faxing

It's just can't compare having you by my side

I guess it's just part of life. You need to get use to being apart from your love one...Learning that being alone doesn't mean that no one is there...

DoEs DiStAnCe MaKes LoVe FoNder?

1st Aug 2006

I felt like I am away for so long... In fact it has only been 3 days. Ha! Some how I think Ping is adapting better than I am, despite he is the one who keep saying 19 days is unbearable. I guess I am the one who is going nuts.

Long distance relationship never work for me. And although I and Ping is not like we are staying apart or something. But I guess it's also consider some sort of "long distance" relationship. It just won't do it for me!!!

Is either he have so much "faith" on me. Or he is just simply thinks that everything goes his way. Sometime I wish I have his "believe"...So, I shall do a little experience here...on Ping, see what's the outcome. Till then....=P

aNoNyMoUs...

28th July 2006

Suddenly my post seem to be notice by someone...someone anonymous that leave a comment at my recent posts. It's kinda funny...perhaps it's my respone to her/his first comment :

"Thanks...leaving such a comment at my moodiest post has indeed lighten up my day!"

So, almost each and my recent posts has similar comment that compliment my blogs and ask me to keep it up! Ha!

It seem unreal, as I sometime wonder does these people exist. Maybe I always have this feeling that I am writing to myself. That no one actually know about this blogs...But it always felt good that someone admire what you write...what you think...

Ping is not here again. This time we won't be around each other for 19 days. It's getting unbearable that we are not seeing each other. As there are cases where our friends breaking up, we seem to hold on to each other tighter. When Ping told me about Luke, I can feel he was as if telling me how appreciative is he towards me... =)

Have you ever had this guy, where you are so "yourself" with him. And you could imagine growing old with him. Ping is such guy...even before we were togather, I thought...He is the one...It sometimes scare me a little that I have such thoughts because I always thought " life is unpredictable..."

It really does scare me...

2nd Culinary Day

26th July 2006

I am sitting in front of my laptop, waiting for my dear to come. This is a unplanned culinary day.Hehe...I just can't wait to see his delighted face.

So what did I have for my dear this time?

STARTER

JIUN'S STYLE

DOESN'T REALLY SEEM LIKE DEEP FRIED TOFU

(WITH PING'S FAVOURITE THAI SWEET CHILI =p)

SOUP OF THE DAY

SIMPLY JIUN'S ABC SOUP

MAIN COURSE

A LITTLE BURNED AGAIN SWEET STIR FRIED PORK

"SIMPLY" STIR FRIED CABBAGE

DESSERT

JIUN'S SPECIALLY PICKED ORANGES

(IT GOTTO BE SWEET)

DRINK

HEALTHY H2O

It's not something I have planned long ago so I didn't cook as much as the first time I did. In fact all the recipe except the soup was decide when I was doing marketing for the ingredients. Haha...I kinda admire my creativity. Or was it my "simplicity"? =P

Anyway, still waiting for my dear...been an hour now...what's taking him so long? Sigh....

aGaiN...

19th July 2006

Have you ever have that kind of feeling when unhappy things happen again and again. When you actually determine not to let it repeat its history. But your desire had betrayed you that you did it again? It happen to me...

I guess it's part of my fault. Knowing that the whole thing will make me unhappy eventually. Still, I let myself do it. I should have leave it to him at the first place. If he wants it bad enough, he would have ask for Roger's number. But instead I am the one who ask Roger. How stupid I am? Idiot!!!!!

Not the first time, and I am determine to not to let it happen. Yet I repeat the mistake myself. Why did he hint it to me that he could spend that 3 days with me. Then later when I told him I have asked Roger, he actually think twice? I hate being to compare...but I felt I am not that important after all...And he thought I was unhappy because of fearing what Roger thinks. Why would I care how people think ? If I do, what is the reason I put myself into a condition when everyone thinks :" this girl is so DESPERATE to spend time with her bf!",again and again? First time he let me feel that I am stupid, 2nd time it's dumb and I am tired, then now I am a total fool!!!

What so good bout this guy that I have lower myself till I nearly lost myself? Why did I did it again when I was hurt, felt stupid, and cried. Perhaps God has His plan. That He didn't allow the cof to work, that I will be away at least a day to be with myself, think these all over... moaning for my stupidity...

Emotionally Detox

07 July 06

I realiase I've been easily moved these days. I wonder why. For the past 3 days, I've cried twice. First time was because of the hong kong drama series...silly. Second time was because of the Oprah Show I watched. Well...I always regard myself as someone not easily cry. Crying sort of meant defeated to me. Ever since that time I cried so badly in front of Ping, I just get teary easily these days. So, the new defination of crying is " DETOX". I think it's sort of emotionally detox. Sometimes your emotionally bear too much that you need someway to release the pain in you. Anyway, it felt good after that.=)

Missing my dear very much...though I have a very busy schedule these 3 days and have accomplished alot, yet it just felt something missing. Can't help but think it would be much better if he is around. Somehow I wonder, why am still so in love with him? haha...silly...but I really am thinking about tat...When I try to fine a reason, I can only jump to the conclusion: Because it's Ping. =)

JoGGing fEveR....

01 July 2006
Woke up in the morning, have this muscle pain all over...haha...I knew I shouldn't have gone jogging in consecutive 2 days. Anyway, it felt great!!! I consider myself not bad as I am not a regular runner and always thought I do not have much stamina. Then again, maybe the occasional aikido session do help as I was surprise I could jog without stopping.

The first day, for a start I do not want to over tired myself so I started up with a quick walking around the field. It's not a very big field though...Then I start running. At first I thought of just doing one or two round as a starting. Then I realiase I could finish that two round without stopping and feeling uneasy. So, I continue running. In the end I jog 5 round around the field in total. GREAT!!!

2nd day, figure that my body doesn't feel any pain so I decided to go for a jog. This time I also did a 5 round jog with 2 round of quick walking.One at the start to warm up and one at the end as a cool down. I realiase I sweat more easily than the first day which is good!!!

Haha....at least I get myself started so hopefully I can continue. Who knows? Maybe like what Ping said, I could drop till 45kg...haha...crazy!